


Loved

by luciferlovesme666666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:17:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8468533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferlovesme666666/pseuds/luciferlovesme666666
Summary: What does it feel like to be loved?





	

Loneliness. All his life, Dean had always been, well, lonely. His mum died in a fire when he was four, and his dad was rarely home because he had to work three jobs to raise Dean and his brother. He’s spent most of his life just taking care of Sam, making sure he ate well, slept well and got to study. He didn’t really have any friends and mostly just hung around the school halls by himself.

Dean never experienced the need to have friends. He was quite contented on his own, and didn’t feel the need to mingle with the other students. That is, until he met Castiel.

The new kid had dark, messy hair and the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. Many of the girls had already taken a liking to him, and were probably scheming ways to get in his pants. He, however, didn’t even bat an eyelash at anyone of them. In fact, his eyes were always on Dean.

Castiel was a peculiar human being. The way he talked was extremely formal, he always had this trenchcoat with him, and he constantly stared at Dean, as if looking into his very soul. They never tried to start a conversation with the other though. Days went past like this, until one fateful day, when everything changed.

“What happened to your wrists?” Dean scrambled to hide his hands in the sleeves of his sweater. He looked down, as if in shame. Sensing his discomfort, Castiel apologized and walked away, but not before dropping a crumpled piece of paper. Curious, Dean picked it up and read the scribbled words. “You’re beautiful.”

It became a never-ending cycle. Castiel would come over to Dean’s desk with a random question, and upon getting no response, he would leave, but not before dropping a crumpled piece of paper next to Dean. Dean kept all of them. They ranged from “I love your smile.” to “Remember to eat your lunch, Dean.” to “You deserve everything good in the world.”. A small smile always crept onto Dean’s face when he read the little messages and his mood would be lifted up just slightly.

 

The next time Castiel dropped a note, Dean grabbed his hand and invited him to play video games at his place. Castiel’s smile was the brighter than the sun and Dean felt himself melting.

“Why do you do that to yourself?” Dean rushed to hide his wrists. He’d been doing so well to cover up his scars, but he slipped up. Again. He was at Cas’ place, doing homework. Over the course of a month, the two had grown to be inseparable, often going to each other’s houses to play video games or do homework. “Dean? It’s okay, you know I’m not going to judge you.” Dean looked back up at Cas’ face. Oh right, Cas saw them. His scars. The flaws that made him so disgusting, so horrible to look at. Dean whimpered and curled in on himself. Cas was definitely going to think he’s a weirdo, a freak. He was definitely going to kick Dean to the ground and leave him. Dean was going to be lonely again.

He didn’t expect Cas to throw his arms around Dean. And he definitely wasn’t expecting Cas to cry, feeling tears soak through his shirt. “Cas?” Dean tentatively wrapped his arms around Cas and felt the boy relax significantly. “I apologise, Dean. It’s just that you’re so, very beautiful, and it hurts when you always put yourself down so often when clearly you’re a great human being. You need to know that you’re not worthless, Dean. You don’t deserve to be hurt. You are kind, selfless, smart, and the best friend I could ever wish for. You think you’re unloved, Dean, but that’s not true. I love you. Always have since the moment I set my eyes on you.”  Cas lifted his head to press a soft kiss to Dean’s temple, tears shining in his eyes.

It was now Dean’s turn to cry. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. He always thought that he was worthless, that he was a burden to his father because he wasn’t as smart as Sammy. He always thought that he had no right to be loved, no right to be cared for. All he deserved was the slicing pain of blades on his skin, the metallic smell of crimson red flowing out his body, draining him of life. He thought he didn’t deserve to live, to exist. He clung to Cas like his life depended on him, and cried like he never got to ever since he was four. Dean felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders, he felt free. And most importantly, he felt loved, cradled in Castiel’s embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed reading and have a great day :D


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